inner.
♥ Saturday, October 13, 2007 @ 2:26 AM
i dunno if diz entry will b disturbin or nt. bt anw. here it is.
i guess i m too greedy. wanted to enjoy so call aft lesson life even tho i cannt. esp durin fridays. coz i m workin. i m too greedy dat i at times wish dat i dun nid to work. i guess i m too unreasonable? lk i alwaes say i m alwaes grateful abt my parents, how dey raise mi up n so on. bt sometimes i juz wish dat i dun nid to b so hard now. to work to study. my sis told mi dat i nid to study more now. da ting is. my allowance how? it's nt as if i haf been spendin my money lk nobody business. i alr cut down lot. mayb i nid to cut down even more. mayb i shld b lk my sis. bt den. den it aint mi anymore. money issue alwaes troubled mi. alot. i guess it's a retribution? spent too much mama money. now i nid to earn it in order to spend. i cannt deny i m materialistic. i dun juz wan functions, i wan appearances too. i m lk dat. i dun intend to change coz i m nt till da extend dat i only wear levis n carry branded bags lk guess or wateva. mayb if i m born in a rich family i will b lk dat. bt den im not. so i c no nid to change. i dun haf da money i wont buy it. dat simple. mayb one day i will say i dun haf da money i wont eat. lolx. den i can enjoy my life. i wonder how.
i m abit over sensitive. it juz makes mi tink tink tink n tink. juz one sentence. y? m i dat insecure? m i still dat insecure? i dunno. frankly, i m nt someone hu love myself. lk wat i learnt, love urself before expectin others to love u. i tried n i tried n i dunno if i succeed loving myself n hence others cherish u. i guess i alwaes nid da reconfirmation. i nid assurance. i nid pple tellin mi so? diz makes mi even more insecure mayb? do i love myself? if u ask mi wat's da gd pt abt myself, i duno wat to reply u. it hurts. n yes i still can feel. it's a miracle bt da pain is dere.
i guess everyone is more hardworkin dan mi now. diz dun freak mi out. da ting dat is worryin mi is dat. i dun even care. i dun care how much da rest read. i dun care how much dey noe n i dunno. i juz dun care. it's lk it's nt business wen it's bloody hell impt to mi. i alwaes tink to b da black sheep of da family. i m one. it's lk. my sisters get into 4A em1 while i get into 5B em2 n opted into em1. dey gt into anderson while i m in mf. dey went to top 5jcs while i m in ny. it's nt as if da schs i went aint gd. dey r equally gd i believe. bt i alwaes feel. inferior? i dunno. da knowledge dey haf. da common sense dey haf. da sportyness dey haf. it's lk wat i haf dat is better dan dem? da only ting i can say is pple to pple r/s. i m more into pple compared to dem. dat's all. u noe how happy i m wen i gt triple sci durin sec2 streamin. it's lk. i finally made my mama happy. den tings went even better wen Os i gt 9 compared to my prelims 16. bt @ dat pt, my mama alr gave up hope on mi. it saddened mi tho. den As i gt gd results too. bt den. dat's all. mayb fr young till now i m nt balanced. psychologically i m unbalanced.
n work. i juz dun get pple stealin. it's lk. even now i left w 20dollars to live thru ard 3wks? i nv even tink of stealin. integrity. n summore, u r causing troubles to ur frenz. or mayb to dem, we r nt frenz. i dunno. it's juz so upsettin dat makes my 2day even worse.
i guess wen u r alwaes @ lowest tings get even more wrong. n make u more upset.
孤单芭蕾时光在旋转一个人回想重播的快乐
时光爱情很危险所以要勇敢时间会帮我的忙
墙上的钟响过了12点爱情也消失了吗
最后看你一眼顺便告诉你再见了我的国王
跳支芭蕾 one two three 纪念我爱过
你往事很美我会踏着回忆的旋律
孤单单的跳到天亮
我不会慢慢慢慢忘记一段爱情
慌慌张张跟着世界旋转
麻麻烦烦天天胡思乱想
我不会
我不要忙忙忙忙故意欺骗自己
平平凡凡忽略我的梦想
孤孤单单夜夜看着月亮
办不到
为了爱情空转拿走你的回忆
(rap):123 wanna 忘记你 so why don't you
just gimme some peace i just want to forget
about you but thoughts just keep
on comin' in not what's agril to do i gotta
be strong just keep goin; on and
ireally should have known know all along
know that even when your're gone i can still carry on
深呼吸练习忘了你
别担心我一定可以
我相信爱有一种复原的能力
忘记你爱我的原因
明天起我不认识你
谢谢你离开我的世界吧
sry if diz entry disturbs u.
